In the past two weeks I've had three friends stop speaking to me and decide they want me out of their life for reasons ranging from a misunderstanding to plain childishness. Two other friends have ignored me when I was trying to talk to them and needed someone to listen to me and give me a slap/advice. This REALLY pissed me off. I mean, why call yourself a friend when you're only interested in who you may or may not hook up with on recon or grindr, and ignore the person who is sat across the fucking table from you having lunch, trying to do something they find very hard to do?!?! I've always been a closed person, I deal with my own shit and bottle up emotions like it's going out of style. But when someone pleads you to open up to them, and you start doing that, you kind of expect them then to not totally ignore you and make you feel like shit by preferring to talk to random fucks then give you their attention. What's the solution to this problem? One solution would be to cut this person out of your life totally. A bad move in my opinion, the world is tiny and the gay world even more so. It's far better to keep the person as an acquaintance, one you don't make a special effort to see or divulge sensitive information to.

These social fuck-ups have been combined with an increased workload and demands made by my supervisor and things generally messing up in the lab. Happily, after investing a lot of time and energy I'm starting to sort out these hiccoughs. Result being that I'm a bit more loopy then usual, a bit more bi-polar-esque, and in need of as many hugs as the people I still call friends can spare.

However, not all is doom and gloom. I'm moving soon, form Clapham Common to by Ealing Common. Longer commute which will mean more time to myself where I can actually force myself to read a journal article, or just have chill out time to myself. I'm moving in with two very lovely, very intelligent friends which will be a big change from my current situation. No pets = win as well. Smaller room, but bigger, nicer living room/kitchen combo. And it's going to work out a slight bit cheaper than my current set up. Downside is that I have to move all my crap 10 miles or so. I'm sure I'll work out something :P

Also on the upside: I have new earphones!!! I accidentally washed/tumble-dried my old V-moda's I bought when I came to London in September and have been making do with the FUCKING SHITE Apple iPhone earphones for the past 6 weeks. Can I just say that it is impossible to not go insane if you have to use the tube daily and only have leaky, cheap earphones to protect you from the screeching, rumbling, and general natter of the London Underground. I sent for the Klipsch S5i's, only £80 on Amazon at the moment. They're basically the same as the S4i's only they have a more rubberised exterior and the remote is waterproof. They've recently won a recommendation from the Engadget Back to College series as the best entry level (sub £150) earphones. For me they're pretty bloody good. Sound quality is what you'd expect for the price and the noise isolation is good too. The only issue I have is that the clip that comes with them is crap at actually staying attached to your clothing.

Thanks to the earphones and the prospect of moving in with some lovely smart kinky guys, I've been able to hold onto some semblance of sanity, rather than breaking down in tears at random points and feeling lost in general. It's very, very easy to feel isolated and like you're being pulled along by the current in London. Dealing with this is the challenge I face over the coming months. But it should work itself out. Things do that mostly because you can't stop time :P